maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
