I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Randomize
