You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
