those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
