Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?