Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
