Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
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