FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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