I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
