"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
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