I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
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