i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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