I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Just pee around me
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
