dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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