We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
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so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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