dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Randomize
