Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Randomize
