I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
