Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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