my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize