I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
