is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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