Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
