Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
