on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
