There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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