She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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