yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
