you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
