well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
