Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
