ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
