i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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