Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
