well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
You're like the curious george of whores
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
