i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
