Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
