that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
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