fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
