well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Randomize
