she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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