So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Bring me that man meat
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
