I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
