after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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