I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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