I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
