I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
