my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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