Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
