I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
