You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
