me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
