he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
