There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
