Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
