After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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