she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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