Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
